An honest post

I am constantly searching for what will make me happy. It's exhausting, to be honest. From one earthly comfort to the next, I seek contentment. I'm beginning to realize now, that none of that will give me what I'm hoping for. Momentary happiness is so fleeting. Today my heart feels inescapably lonely. Painfully tired and heavy. Not because most of my friends are out of the country & not because I feel like nothing will ever be the same, but because my heart has grown distant from the only One who will give me comfort and rest.  I no longer want to feel comfortable in my discomfort, or happiness in the temporary. Desperation is so unappealing, yet that is what I am. Desperate.